More Angels. Lots of Them.

This has been my hardest pregnancy. I don't want to sound like a big whiner, but I need to explain. I have been experiencing "morning" sickness, extreme dizziness and light-headedness, depression, anxiety and headaches, to name a few. Because of these fun symptoms, especially the dizziness, I haven't been able to do much for myself. Who can do anything when you can't even stand up? My sweet nine year old Ashton has been making ALL of our meals. And doing a fantastic job, I might add.

My mother in law told me that she prayed that either I would be healed or at least given the strength to deal with all this. What she didn't realize is that He has given me the strength. He just didn't put it in my body. It comes from my neighbors and friends and family.

At least couple of times a week, I have someone call and say, "Can I come do your dishes?" or "Can I clean your kitchen?" or even "Can I bring you dinner?" Grocery shopping has been a struggle because the grocery stores made me gag and, well, you can't go while lying down. My mothers in law (Doug's parents divorced and remarried when he was young and both families live close by!) both have gone shopping for me, helped with the kids, and they often do what one of them calls a "drive-by fruiting." (Name that movie!) Once, after forcing myself to do a haircut on a client (I always warn them that I will have to take many breaks), she jumped up and informed me that she would be doing my dishes. She stayed and cleaned my entire kitchen. I didn't charge her for the haircut. A week or so later, she just showed up at my door to do it again. My visiting teachers call me whenever they are out running errands and offer to do whatever I need them to do. Twice, now, my friends have cleaned my whole entire house, never expecting me to help with theirs. Once, a woman in my ward who happens to be my doctor's sister showed up at my door with an article from my doctor about vitamins K and C being used to fight morning sickness. I have been taking that and feeling quite a bit better as far as the morning sickness goes. She came back a few days later and cleaned my kitchen, too. Sweet friends have invited the kids over to play several times. The Young Women have been coming over and cleaning, too. Once, they even made bread! And then, last night, the Halloween Phantom came to our house. I never look forward to the exchanging of treats for Halloween and Christmas because our family doesn't eat refined sugar or flour. (We sell the Halloween candy the kids get trick-or-treating to a local dentist, in case you wondered.) However, the Halloween Phantom brought us a GIANT bowl of strawberries and grapes and silly Halloween toys. I am so grateful for the thoughtfulness. It may be silly to cry over a Halloween treat, but I did.

I have learned that great blessings come from allowing others to serve you. It is hard. It requires some humbling. Who wants to admit that you just can't do it by yourself? Who wants someone to come into your gross kitchen and see how you are living (even if not by choice)? But, because I have learned to let these angels come into my house, I have been blessed. Here are some things I have learned:

1. I have always been taught that serving others strengthens your love for them. Whoever taught me that left out that the person you serve gains a greater love for you, too. I love these angels more than I can express.

2. I have learned by example how to give of yourself, even when it's not the most convenient. These women are busy, busy moms, yet they take the time to serve.

3. One of them thinks that the Lord doesn't talk to her, but she always calls just when I need it most and offers what I need the most at the time, even if it's just to know that someone is thinking of me. He talks to all of us, whether we know it or not.

4. I have learned that calling or showing up and saying, "Here's what I would like to do for you. Is that OK?" works much better than "Call me if you need any help." I am glad to know that that person is willing, but I seldom, if ever, call. When I am well enough, I will change the way I do things. I have always been a "Call if you need me!" kind of girl.

5. I haven't been the best about reading my scriptures or even praying. The hormones make it hard for me to focus on either. I have hardly been to church because I have been so sick. Yet, I have been blessed beyond measure. I feel quite unworthy and the only thing I can attribute it to is the prayers that have been offered in my behalf. I know of so many people who have been praying for me. I will be better about praying for others. I now have a stronger testimony of prayer.

I should say that I am doing somewhat better. I can do some things for myself, now. I still struggle, but because of the prayers and service of others and priesthood blessings, I now believe I will survive.