Sophie: My Homebirth Story

I don’t know when I first started thinking about home birth. Many of the homeschoolers I know have home births and have fought legislation that would interfere with home births. At first, I signed the petitions saying, “I don’t want that, but I believe moms have the right to have their babies wherever they want.” Doug would say things like, “Me, too, but I sure am glad you aren’t interested in that!” It was then that I learned about homebirth. It is as safe or safer, in fact, than hospital births for low-risk situations.

A year or so ago, when I started studying herbs and things more natural, I studied some about childbirth. I started thinking what a beautiful and natural thing it is. Why is it portrayed in the world as a horrible, terrifying thing with women screaming hateful things at their husbands? Maybe some women do that. I don’t know. I couldn’t and still can’t imagine it. I started longing to have a spiritual experience that I hadn’t had in the hospitals. I’m sure many women have had such experiences, but I wasn’t one of them. (Not that my hospital births were horrible. They weren’t. They were fine, except the epidurals. I had already decided to do without another one.) I longed for the intimacy of the experience in a place that is comfortable and safe to me. I wanted to be able to be in control of my own experience. The list went on.

When I approached Doug with the idea, I was not yet pregnant, so he listened and just said that we would think about it. I was a little surprised to have him be so willing. When I did find out that I was pregnant, I did some research. I wanted certain qualities in a midwife. I was on a quest. When I did an internet search or talked to people, the same name came up every time. Dianne. So, I called her and made an appointment. Doug and I decided that we would see how we felt after meeting and talking with her. We left the appointment feeling comfortable with her. We liked her extensive knowledge and experience. We liked her honesty. We decided to continue on the homebirth route as long as we felt good about it. And we did.

My pregnancy was rough. Nothing dangerous, I was just extremely sick and had a rough time. My sweet midwife checked on me regularly, had me come more often for visits so that she could help in any way she could, she prayed for me. I loved her more each time I saw her.

One of my friends told me that she wanted to become a doula. I encouraged her to do it and be my doula! Amie began her training and met with us several times to discuss different labor techniques and helping us prepare for an unmedicated birth. She was amazing.

There were times that I got scared. What if something went wrong? What if? What if? Doug was the one who calmed my fears and encouraged me to continue – knowing that that was what I really wanted.

As the time grew closer, fear was replaced by excitement. I was going to have a baby. In my home. With my family close by. We left it up to the kids whether or not they wanted to be there. They decided that they did. So, we prepared them. We talked about birth. We talked about the sacred experience that it is. I prayed and prayed that they would feel the Spirit and know what a miracle and blessing it is to procreate. We also talked about the pain, that I would be in pain and that they should not be afraid. I was choosing this. I had had births with minimal pain, and I was choosing this way instead. We had to talk to Christian about where babies come out (he thought she would come out my mouth). We talked about anatomy and hormones. We talked about the bag of waters, the uterus, the placenta, the umbilical cord. It was an education! (I promise, I kept it as age-appropriate as possible!)

All of my babies have been born early. We expected this one to be the same. So, imagine my disappointment as we got closer and closer to my due date with no signs of labor. My mom planned to come about five days before my due date, sure that I would have had the baby by then. It was not so. However, the morning of her arrival, I woke up to find that I was leaking amniotic fluid after having had contractions all night. I called Dianne. She expected me to continue contracting and be fully in labor by evening. I called my mom (my sister picked her up from the airport) and told her that if she wanted to be here for the birth, she should come on down as planned, if not, she should stay at my sister’s. She said she wanted to be there. So, my mom and sister showed up, excited to know the baby was coming. Except that the baby wasn’t coming. The contractions had stopped completely. I was so sad.

However, I woke up the next morning to more amniotic fluid and bloody show. I called Dianne. She came right over and checked me. I was not dilated at all. I cried. However, I started contracting then and did not stop the whole day. I got a burst of energy and went shopping and even colored my sister’s hair! Later that evening, I called my midwife again. I told her I had contracted the whole day. The contractions were 3-7 minutes apart, though I knew they weren’t strong enough to be “true” labor. She told me to lie down and rest and call her in an hour and let her know how things were going. I did. Still contracting. She said, “I’m coming over to check you and I’m sleeping on your couch tonight. I think we’re having this baby!” So, she came over. She checked me. I was further along. Definitely going into labor. She gave me some herbs to help strengthen the contractions. They worked. Two hours later, I was hurting. I woke her up. She called her assistants. I texted Amie, my doula. I walked in circles around my living room to deal with the contractions while Doug and Dianne filled up a tub in my kitchen. They put plastic and old sheets on my bed. They set up a birthing stool in my kitchen also. Amie arrived and talked to me as I walked in circles. After a while, when everything was set up, Dianne checked me again and decided to break my water. This was at about 3:00 a.m. Then, everything got really intense. But, I climbed in that warm tub and soaked. Amie and Doug were very close by. Amie breathed with me and massaged my shoulders. Doug played with my hair (that’s what I told him to do – I love it). I had done a home-study Hypnobabies course. I wasn’t good enough at it to make my birth pain-free. However, it gave me the tools I needed to remain relaxed through the contractions and maintain control. I was grateful for that. At first, I was completely silent, just breathing through each contraction. As they became stronger, I began to moan. The pain was intense. The baby never stopped moving. So, with each contraction, she pushed against the contraction from the inside. I thought I was ripping in two. But I wasn’t. At one point, I told Amie that I was starting to feel anxious. Immediately, one of the assistants was there asking if I wanted lavender oil in the water with me. I said yes. I felt better. Doug and Amie constantly reassured me and told me how well I was doing. I overheard the assistants saying how well I was doing. I felt encouraged, strong.

My mom had heard all the commotion and woken up. She had been up and observing most of the night. At around 5:45 a.m., Ashton woke up. A short time later, Christian came in. They just watched everything quietly. My mom said that a few times, she noticed them starting to worry, but before she could say anything to them, Doug would appear and comfort them, reminding them that we had talked about this and everything was OK. They remembered. They were excited.

Finally, Dianne came and checked me again. It was almost time. They moved me out of the tub and to a birthing stool. They had me push a few times to move the baby down. Then, they had me push her out. It took me about two pushes and she was out. Dianne and her assistant caught her. Literally. They handed her to me. She was beautiful. Sophie! I don’t remember this, but my mom says that Ashton squealed, “It’s a baby! A baby! There really is a baby!” Roxie woke up and came down the hall as I pushed Sophie out. She got to see brand new Sophie, but missed the parts that may have scared her, as she was too young to understand what was really happening. It was perfect.

I started bleeding, though. A lot. Dianne had me lie down and then made everyone stop to pray. No one was afraid, though. It was so peaceful. She stopped the bleeding and had me carried to my bed. I had lost a lot of blood, but I recovered very quickly. I try so hard to be healthy and take care of myself. Because of that, I was very blessed.

I am glad I chose to have her at home. If I have another baby, it will be here again. I loved that it was everything I had hoped.

Sophie was born at 6:34 a.m. in my kitchen. She weighed 8 lbs. 6 oz. She was 21 ¾” long. She was beautiful and perfect. Still is.